How to Choose a Therapist

If you have ever experienced looking for the right therapist, or are currently searching, I am so glad that you are reading this post. I am sharing a short guide on how you can improve your experience of searching for the right therapist.

First, I want you to begin thinking of the process of finding the right therapist to be very similar to finding your life partner. It may sound odd, but just like with any couple, a therapist and client need to feel like the right fit. There are thousands of therapists in each state of America. If I looked on Psychology Today for a therapist in Massachusetts right now, I would find thousands of therapists’ profiles. I completely understand how overwhelming it can be to try to find one out of such a huge number of therapists, let alone find one that will actually be a good fit for you.

One of the most important predictors of success in therapy is the relationship that is formed between a therapist and a client. This is the reason why you get to have high expectations for any potential therapist that will be working with you.

What are some essential traits and characteristics of a good therapist?

Direct, yet non-judgmental: This is someone who will be able to point out your blind spots that are standing in the way of your better life openly and in a non-judgmental way. You are not in therapy for someone to only nod and listen. There won’t be much progress on your part when this is the only type of treatment you are receiving.

Open-minded: This is crucial because a good therapist will create space for you to explore your choices, thoughts, and behaviors without enforcing their own way of thinking during your exploration. Therapy is not about a therapist’s view on life.

Supportive, yet challenging: You need to be challenged in order to grow and to evolve. A good therapist has a skill of holding space for you and calling you out at the same time, where you are still left connected to them during a tough conversation.

What are the steps to take during your search for a therapist?

1. Decide what you need first. Ask yourself the following questions:

What am I looking for in a therapist? What qualities are a must (e.g. gentle, structured, nurturing, etc.)? What am I looking for to get out of therapy? What are my goals, and when will I know that I no longer need a therapist?

2. Decide where you will be looking for a therapist. There are many therapist directories, such as Psychology Today or Therapy Den. You can also ask your physician to give you a list of therapists that they refer people to. Some universities also offer counseling services.

3. Decide how you will be paying for therapy. You can either use your insurance, or pay out of pocket. I bet you would ask me why you would pay out of pocket. Well, any therapist who accepts insurance is obligated to give you a diagnosis that will be shared with a third party even when you do not have a clinical diagnosis. Insurance has every right to decide how many sessions you are allowed to have even without knowing your specific situation. I would encourage you to not make finances the main priority in your search for a therapist. There are amazing out-of-pocket therapists with whom you can meet once a month and achieve amazing progress without meeting weekly.

4. I encourage you to look for an expert in the area of where you struggle, whether it is anxiety, depression, relationships, etc. An expert is someone who has specific training in your area of struggle. A generalist is someone who treats everything, but does not necessarily has specific training in treating your difficulties.

5. Once you have a list of potential therapists, schedule a consultation call with each of them. Here are some questions to ask during your consultation call:

What is your training in treating (insert your area of difficulty)?

What is your therapeutic style?

How do you usually work with clients who struggle with similar difficulties? How would you work with me?

How long have you been practicing?

Do you think we are a good fit to work together?

After you choose a therapist, have a few sessions with them and pay attention to how you feel during a session and after. If you feel like it is not a good fit, don’t get discouraged. Keep looking for a therapist because once you find the one who is the right fit, you will feel it right away.

Please remember that it is your life and it is up to you who you allow to lead you through some difficult moments in your life. Be picky, and have high expectations!

If you are looking for a couples therapist, please feel free to reach out to see if we can be a good fit!