How to Tell That You Were Triggered

People often struggle with recognizing that they were triggered by something their partner (or anybody else) had said or done. Here are two things that happen to an individual who comes close to their trigger. 

1. A sudden emotional change.

For example, you and your partner were just laughing and making jokes, when all of a sudden, you feel rage and this emotional whoosh in your body. Your partner notices it, and most importantly, feels this emotional change in you. For individuals who are not aware of their triggers, this sudden emotional change can be very confusing. 

2. Your behavior seems out of proportion.

When you are emotionally overwhelmed, the limbic part of your brain is activated and it takes full control of your actions. Think about the last time you were extremely emotional, meaning you experienced a rush of difficult emotions, such as anger, rage, jealousy, or others. Try to remember how you behaved in that moment. Your behavior most likely seemed to be out of proportion, especially to the people who were near you in that moment. To others, your behavior did not make sense (unless they knew your triggers and could see what was happening underneath your behavior). 

First Step to Interrupting a Negative Cycle

As I always say, noticing is the first step to interrupting and stopping certain negative cycles that we all get stuck in sometimes. Be aware of these cycles and learn how to notice them when they are about to happen (or are happening). Become an expert at understanding your own triggers, and specific emotions and behaviors that often follow them. It is also important to remember that it is normal to have triggers. It is okay to become emotional when you feel triggered. However, your triggers are never good enough to justify crappy behavior towards yourself or others. 

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