5 Things to Know About Couples Therapy

Many couples often wait years until they see a therapist. There are so many reasons for this, and they are very specific to each couple. For example, some couples may feel extremely overwhelmed and scared to share their relationship struggles with a stranger. If you or your partner have been thinking about seeing a therapist, please know that it is OKAY to ask for help. 

Here are 5 things to know about couples therapy if you are considering it:

1. Every couples therapist is different in their approach.

For example, some will take sides of either partner, while others won’t. Some will see each partner separately for individual sessions, whilst others only prefer to see the couple together in sessions. Not every therapist is going to be a good fit for you and your partner. That is normal!

2. Couples work is hard but it is very fulfilling if BOTH partners put in good work.

When both partners learn to be raw and vulnerable in front of each other in therapy (and then most importantly outside of therapy), they are able to access the deepest levels of emotional connection between one another. This deep connection is at the core of successful relationships. 

3. A therapist will not do the work for you and your partner.

A therapist is not responsible for saving your relationship or for helping you make difficult decisions. A therapist serves as a guide and educator, and as a person who will help you look at your relationship from a different perspective. However, it is up to you and your partner to do the work to achieve your therapeutic goals. 

4. Many couples therapists give homework to their couples.

The reason behind this is that most therapeutic work always happens outside of sessions. You can learn and discover new things about yourself, your partner, and your relationship in a therapy session. However, 50-60 minutes of work per week is never enough to improve a relationship. Homework is a necessary tool that will guide you and your partner towards your goals. Be serious about it!

5. Sometimes, it may make zero sense why a therapist asks certain questions.

You make feel that they have nothing to do with the issue that you and your partner came to therapy for. However, I would like you to know that it is important to trust the process. Many therapists will explore your past relationships and your childhood. They have great reasons to do so. One is that by exploring and brining your past into a safe room with your therapist, it will allow you to see specific negative cycles that you have been stuck in, and that continue affecting your current relationship. Trust the process! However, please tell your therapist if you ever feel unsafe going back to some memories. Communication is always key to good therapy.

Couples therapy can be a lot of work, but is rewarding and satisfying when both partners are mutually invested and trust the process. Do you want to take the next step in strengthening your relationship? Contact me today to get started!