Five Types of Intimacy

When you hear the word “intimacy”, what comes to mind? 

The concept of intimacy is very complex, and yet many people think about intimacy only in terms of sex. As I was planning my posts for this week surrounding this topic, I decided to google the definition of intimacy. It mentioned that intimacy is all about being “closely personal” with your partner. However, there are so many ways that you can be closely personal with your partner beyond just sex. 

Here is the definition that I came to after years of being in a relationship, as well as after working with couples.

Intimacy is the process of learning to be fully honest, raw, and vulnerable with your partner in a warm and loving way. It is a combination of complete honesty and love. It is the ability to show your inner world, as well as being interested in seeing the inner world of your partner. It is the ability to feel wanted, appreciated, validated, nurtured, and loved. 

Intimacy is not something you have.

Intimacy is something you do. It is something you constantly work towards, every minute of your day together with your partner. There are several areas of intimacy that are all important to have in a healthy and happy relationships. 

While I am sharing these areas with you, take a moment to recognize which areas of intimacy you and your partner need to work on improving. 

1. Intellectual intimacy

This is all about mutual sharing of ideas and thoughts without any judgment. You are able to express your ideas freely, and you are able to freely and openly receive ideas from your partner. It is a beautiful transmission process between partners that increases their emotional connection. 

2. Emotional intimacy

This area covers the expression of one’s fears, sadness, joy, and other emotions without feeling attacked, defended against, or withdrawn from by their partner. Both partners are able to receive information without responding in an unhealthy or poor manner. 

3. Physical intimacy

This area is about mutual participation in physical activities, such as cuddling, hugging, touching, embracing, etc. 

4. Sexual intimacy

This includes honoring each other’s desires, honoring the desire to be sexual with one another, and expressing your own desire to your partner. 

5. Spiritual intimacy

This type of  intimacy is about support for each other’s sense of purpose and spiritual journey. It is about having deep conversations with your partner where you are able to receive and provide support about each other’s spiritual journeys. 

At times, partners lack some of these types of intimacies. This is because we live in a world that does not cheer for deeper intimacy and connection between partners, between friends… We often lose sight of what is important to us because we are so busy with everything else in our lives. A lack of intimacy in one of these areas often leads to a decrease in other types of intimacies. The good thing is that these can always improve if both partners decide that it is important to them!

Contact me for your first appointment today and let's work together to mend the issues and improve your intimacy in your relationship!